Sheesh. So this is the deal. After that last night with CB, I decided I didn’t want to see him again, remember? Following that eve, CB had either texted or called me every day that week. The calls I ignored, but I did listen to his vm’s (which basically said to call him back when I was free). Then, towards the end of the week, while at my mom’s house, I get a text saying ‘are you ignoring me or something?’. I say to her “doesn’t this guy get the hint already?”, to which she begins to ask me what was going on with CB…
-Keep in mind, I normally do not discuss guys with mom, bc she is on this “it’s time you were with someone already” kick (she even said one day “just find any guy, don’t be so picky” – YUP!), so I really didn’t need her pressuring me about getting a bf/fiance/husband or whatever it is that would make her happy…but I happened to speak about CB to her previously bc I had thought he had potential (of which I do not feel very often).-
MOM: “So what is going on with CB?”
So, I go ahead and tell her about that last time CB & I went out. Of course I replace the scotch part with food…no need for mom to think I’m an alchie, right! ;-}
MOM: “Honestly, that’s not really a big deal. I mean not every guy is going to be perfect and there’s always going to be some issue with everyone, and this is not a big one. Plus he obviously is very interested in you if he has been calling you everyday even after you haven’t responded.”
ME: “Yea but cheap guys are such turn off for me and it’s one of my pet peeves for anyone.”
MOM: “Maybe he really didn’t have enough cash on him. I don’t think it’s a make or break issue. It’s not that serious and if it really bothers you, just talk to him about it.”
-So now I’m thinking maybe she has a point and since he’s been pro-actively contacting me, I guess I can at least tell him how I feel about what happened…instead of pretending everything is okay – wait am I acting like an adult here? Get out!-
Strangely enough, as soon as my mom tells me this, guess who calls me? Yup, interesting timing CB.
ME: “How funny, he’s calling me right now.”
MOM: “Pick it up. Just talk to him, everything will be fine, watch.”
I reluctantly pick up his call…
HE: “Hi! Wow, you finally picked up.”
ME: “Yea, things have been hectic the last few days.”
HE: “Well, when are you coming back into the city? I really want to see you!”
Ahh…what to do here…
ME: “I’ll be back Friday eve, so I can call you when I get back in, ok?”
HE: “Perfect, talk to you then.”
It’s now Friday eve and I’m finally settled in my apt. I have a glass of chenin blanc and call up my gf (totally aware that CB is waiting for me to call him at any moment). I chat with gf for a while and one glass turns into 2 then 3…and I feel good. And a bit forthright.
So I go ahead and give CB a call –
ME: “Hi, How are you?”
HE: “Pretty good, what are you up to?”
ME: “Nothing much really just got back so I’m just relaxing.” (aka drinking, lol)
HE: “Do you feel like meeting up tonight? Would be great to see you.”
ME: “Well I have to get up early in the morning, so tonight may not be a good night.”
HE: “Ok, so let me know when, because I want to see you okay. You’re bit of an enigma to me, I’m not sure what to make of it.”
ME: “What do you mean?”
HE: “Well, it’s not often I’m interested in someone and when I met you it was surprising bc not only are you attractive, but you’re very intelligent and understand my profession bc of your background. So, I can talk to you about things and you’ll get it.
ME: “Thanks. Well, actually to be honest, something has been bothering me and I want to talk about it.” (here I go..)
HE: “What is it?”
ME: “I thought it was rude that you had asked me to pay part of the bill last time we hung out especially after you just described to me the apt you were getting. What was the deal with that?” (Ah, finally said it)
HE: “I didn’t know it still bothered you. I’ll give you back the $20 next time I see you .”
HELLO that is not the point.
ME: “It’s not about the money CB, it’s the fact that as a gentleman you shouldn’t have asked me, especially since I came up to see you and we haven’t even gone out to dinner or anything yet. I mean you must be just terrible at dating or something because if you expect to go out with a NYC chick, then you need to brush up on your dating etiquette.” OUCH!
HE: “Honestly, I didn’t do it purposely. Before I left my apt, I just grabbed a $100 bill from my desk and I figured that would be enough since we were just having a few drinks at the pub around the corner from me.”
ME: “Well, I just felt weird about it.”
HE: “You are totally right, I was wrong to do that and I apologize. I didn’t mean to make you feel anyway. I’m sorry.”
Dammit – I wasn’t finished venting yet 😉
ME: “I guess. So, what to do now?”
HE: “Whatever you want, it’s up to you. We can make new plans okay. How about Tuesday for dinner?”
ME: “I think that could work.”
Ugh, I caved in…I mean he did apologize and even though I was ranting over the phone, he kept up a calm & soft-spoken demeanor, so I felt like I was ranting and just couldn’t stay irritated. But at least I said how I felt, so I do feel better about being honest. I just have to work on my confrontational skills I guess…
Am I making any sense or just being irrational?
2 thoughts on “Current Stat – Remember CB the Cheapie? Take two – what to do…”
I think it was the right thing to confront him about what made you upset with him. It’s also shows how much of a nice guy he is that he didn’t get upset or yell back or anything. And come on – if he’s been calling you and has been so absolutely intrigued – why not let this one little thing slide? Unless he does something completely out of the ordinary, then I think thats when you should give up on him. He apologized, which is equally as sweet and mature of him to realize his own mistake.
Good luck with him, I hope things work out 🙂
Thank you for the great advice Wilelove, much appreciated!
I’m trying to be relaxed with this one and not so nit picky, but it’s a bit hard for me ;-( Hopefully there’s a light at the end of the tunnel…