(FYI – I took out the personal info bc I’m not that evil, hello! And, I refuse to spell-check someone else‘s verbage)
Email from Cheeseriffic Rambler:
In that time I’ve fought fires in Alaska, Spit poems at the Nurocean Poets Cafe in NY, built houses in Louisianna, wrote a poetry book, taught english in Mexico, and lived in my truck/camper rock climbing all over the west coast (WTF is all this abt?). But as I get older and think about settling down I constantly think/dream of the East Coast. (Good luck to ya!)
I don’t want to sound like a jerk, but you are beautiful, is it hard to find guys in NY? (Nope u don’t sound like a jerk…u sound unemployed!). I mean I looked at that one pic of you smiling and was like, “begin communication, begin communication!!!” LOL (CCC-Cah-Or-Nee)
You have amazing eyes and a sweet smile (thx!). SO what’s up? (what’s up? wtf!) Are you a heart breaker? (Yes he wrote this. MG never fabricates, thx). You have to have guys begging for your phone number…seriously. What’s your story…;) (My story? Welcome to the Midtown Girl Chronicles!). Well I hope you have a great day. Take care.”
Yes, take care C.R. Sheesh.
It disturbs the hell out of me when boys use the term LOL, esp. in first stages of dating – yikes!
"Spit poems at the Nurocean Poets Cafe in NY, built houses in Louisianna, wrote a poetry book, taught english in Mexico, and lived in my truck/camper rock climbing all over the west coast"
WTF hahaha "SPIT"???? I die.
Lived in a truck/camper…homeless is hot, right?
Sidebarred you btw my darrrrling!
"lived in my truck" = homeless.
What an email! haha
There are so many hot people in Alaska that it's on fire… and needs volunteer firemen to put it out.
Look out, Todd! (Soon to be Palin's ex-husband)
NEVER date a guy who mentions he wrote a book of poetry–that means he's broke AND full of CRAP! If he starts trying to recommend Hemingway short stories to you…block him! 🙂
If anyone, male or female, ever tells me s/he "spits poems," I will kill the bitch. That shit is annoying!
So to summarize, he's homeless, broke, unemployed, was exiled in Mexico for a while and I don't even want to know what he was doing in the desert. We have a winner! Hilarious… where do these people come from? Love this blog by the way 🙂
Translation: I have been everywhere and done everything! I am sophisticated as well as rugged and athletic. It is amazing that I am single. You are lucky that I found you. Lets have sex!
LMFAO!!!!
That was so hilarious to read. I've tried my hand at online dating. Not a pretty picture. I met some good girls from it, but also some really crazies and bums too.
Yikes!
It's the "begin communication, begin communication" that really screams STALKER to me.
Sigh. Some things never change. Men included.
Wow, for a guy that has done a lot he sounds like a wimpy puppy dog in the last paragraph.
What. The. Hell? Grow a pair buddy and stop being a potential lame ass stalker.
Maybe I'm being harsh. I should explain I'm not into creepy.
So funny! Love your commentary 🙂
xoxox,
CC
Everyone has already pointed that he's unemployed and homeless. Well, at least he didn't lie and say that he's got a top security clearance with the gov't and could never reveal the true nature of his work to you.
You should write back and say, yes, I am a heart breaker. That Madison Avenue is littered with the hopes and dreams of those you've crushed beneath your Jimmy Choo shoes.
Of course that might make you sound like a narcissistic nut, but don't worry, he won't notice. 😉
This is so mean but I cannot resist…
your=your (possessive)
you're-you are
That is one of my biggest pet peeve. While we are on the subject "it's"=IT IS
now that we have that out of the way…poor guy. I love the Nuyorican Cafe btw…such a cool place.
as my best friend would say…"NEXT!!"
🙂
WOW!!! what a character! and i like your commentary even better!
ha! I don't know about that guys…loved everything you added lolol!
hahahahha… this is so awkward! I love the random "whats up" in the middle of it!?
I assume you're going out with him ASAP? Ah ha. Le douche.
jeez!! He came on so strong and needy! god, it's so hard to find that even between too distant and too available. But definite pass on this one!
wow! you might just have better luck at a bar.