Character Breakdown: Needy in Nassau

Written by on Monday, May 17th, 2010 with 5 comments

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Needy in Nassau is an Investment Consultant who works & lives in Nassau, LI, is in his late 30’s, 6ft tall with light brown hair/blue eyes. We chatted via email for a few days until we finally spoke over the phone…

Last email from me:

‘Would be great to talk over the phone. Here is my num…’

About 5 mins – yes 5 – I get a call..from NN. This should be interesting…

ME: “Hello?”

HE: “Hey, its NN!”

ME: “Hi. That was quick!”

HE: “Yea, I figured why not try you now since you are online anyway.” (huh?)

ME: “Ok, how was your day?”

HE: “Pretty good. I live & work in Nassau, how about you.”

ME: “I live & work in Midtown. Do you come into the city at all?”

HE: “Yea. Well, not really. Only if I have a reason to.” (well good thing you’re calling MG…wtf?)

ME: “Are you originally from Nassau?”

HE: “Yea. My parents live here. How long have you lived in the city for?”

ME: “I went to NYU for undergrad and have lived in the city ever since.”

HE: “Oh well lah-dee-dah, NYU huh… excuse me!” (what the fuck?)

HE: “How long have you lived in Midtown?”

ME: “Ya. I’ve been living in Midtown for 10 years.” (yes, holler at your true MG – LOL!)

HE: “Is that your dog barking? He sounds cute.”

ME: “Yes, she’s a pom.”

HE: “Ohhhh, well lah-dee-dah! A Pomeranian huh!” (WTF with this la-dee-dah shit. Shut up already.)

HE: “So, what are you looking for?”

NOT YOU.

ME: “In a relationship? I guess I’m looking for my better half…I mean, that’s a pretty brazen question to ask in a 1st phone convo!”

HE: “I’m just asking because a lot of women are looking for a perfect person and there is no such thing.(fabulous –another jaded online dater…for hell’s sake.)

HE: “Especially when women get older, like my age, they are so picky and honestly how can they be so picky when they are my age?” (he’s 37)

LOL X 100..What the dilly-o with age OCD? Wow.

ME: “Have you had many women your age that are super picky?”

HE: “Yea, and they don’t want to settle down, they’re waiting for the perfect guy and they’re already mature.”

I’m def getting off the phone asap.

ME: “Hmm, I don’t know what to say, I guess everyone is different. Sounds like you had some bad experiences.”

HE: “Well, I got married when I was 27 to a hottie. And that was the worst mistake ever.”

A hottie? LOL.

ME: “What happened?” (why am I asking this..why am I still on the phone…wtf is wrong with me?)

HE: “I owned a tanning salon (kill me) and she worked for me. I was 27, she was 21. She was a hottie – like 5’10, 118 pds and I wanted to show her off.” (why does everyone’s ex have model stats?? WHATEVZ.)

ME: “Ok.”

HE: “She was abusive though. And I don’t hit women.”

ME: “What do you mean by abusive, like she hit you?”

HE: “Yes, she would flip out, go crazy, she even slammed the door on my hand and it sliced off the top part of my finger.”

Holy Captain Hook.

ME: “Uhm, wow. That’s insane. And this was how long ago?”

HE: “10 years ago.”

ME: “Sounds like you are still traumatized. Sorry you had to go through that. I really am. Well, I have to go walk my dog, she’s still barking as you can hear.”

HE: “No prob. I would really like to take you out. What does your schedule look like?”

ME: “Let me see and get back to you, ok?  Have a great night.” (And a great life.)

Here’s the deal – everyone has baggage, right? But what type  & how much baggage are you willing to accept?

kissies,

5 Comments on “Character Breakdown: Needy in Nassau”

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