Character Breakdown: Needy in Nassau

May 17th 2010 8 Comments

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Needy in Nassau is an Investment Consultant who works & lives in Nassau, LI, is in his late 30′s, 6ft tall with light brown hair/blue eyes. We chatted via email for a few days until we finally spoke over the phone…

Last email from me:

‘Would be great to talk over the phone. Here is my num…’

About 5 mins – yes 5 – I get a call..from NN. This should be interesting…

ME: “Hello?”

HE: “Hey, its NN!”

ME: “Hi. That was quick!”

HE: “Yea, I figured why not try you now since you are online anyway.” (huh?)

ME: “Ok, how was your day?”

HE: “Pretty good. I live & work in Nassau, how about you.”

ME: “I live & work in Midtown. Do you come into the city at all?”

HE: “Yea. Well, not really. Only if I have a reason to.” (well good thing you’re calling MG…wtf?)

ME: “Are you originally from Nassau?”

HE: “Yea. My parents live here. How long have you lived in the city for?”

ME: “I went to NYU for undergrad and have lived in the city ever since.”

HE: “Oh well lah-dee-dah, NYU huh… excuse me!” (what the fuck?)

HE: “How long have you lived in Midtown?”

ME: “Ya. I’ve been living in Midtown for 10 years.” (yes, holler at your true MG – LOL!)

HE: “Is that your dog barking? He sounds cute.”

ME: “Yes, she’s a pom.”

HE: “Ohhhh, well lah-dee-dah! A Pomeranian huh!” (WTF with this la-dee-dah shit. Shut up already.)

HE: “So, what are you looking for?”

NOT YOU.

ME: “In a relationship? I guess I’m looking for my better half…I mean, that’s a pretty brazen question to ask in a 1st phone convo!”

HE: “I’m just asking because a lot of women are looking for a perfect person and there is no such thing.(fabulous -another jaded online dater…for hell’s sake.)

HE: “Especially when women get older, like my age, they are so picky and honestly how can they be so picky when they are my age?” (he’s 37)

LOL X 100..What the dilly-o with age OCD? Wow.

ME: “Have you had many women your age that are super picky?”

HE: “Yea, and they don’t want to settle down, they’re waiting for the perfect guy and they’re already mature.”

I’m def getting off the phone asap.

ME: “Hmm, I don’t know what to say, I guess everyone is different. Sounds like you had some bad experiences.”

HE: “Well, I got married when I was 27 to a hottie. And that was the worst mistake ever.”

A hottie? LOL.

ME: “What happened?” (why am I asking this..why am I still on the phone…wtf is wrong with me?)

HE: “I owned a tanning salon (kill me) and she worked for me. I was 27, she was 21. She was a hottie – like 5’10, 118 pds and I wanted to show her off.” (why does everyone’s ex have model stats?? WHATEVZ.)

ME: “Ok.”

HE: “She was abusive though. And I don’t hit women.”

ME: “What do you mean by abusive, like she hit you?”

HE: “Yes, she would flip out, go crazy, she even slammed the door on my hand and it sliced off the top part of my finger.”

Holy Captain Hook.

ME: “Uhm, wow. That’s insane. And this was how long ago?”

HE: “10 years ago.”

ME: “Sounds like you are still traumatized. Sorry you had to go through that. I really am. Well, I have to go walk my dog, she’s still barking as you can hear.”

HE: “No prob. I would really like to take you out. What does your schedule look like?”

ME: “Let me see and get back to you, ok?  Have a great night.” (And a great life.)

Here’s the deal – everyone has baggage, right? But what type  & how much baggage are you willing to accept?

kissies,

8 Comments to “Character Breakdown: Needy in Nassau”

  1. W.E.I.R.D. I want to say give people a chance sometimes because maybe they just don’t present themselves well. But he doesn’t even come into Manhattan!

  2. Funny how insecurity manifests itself sometimes! This is a very illuminating conversation ;)

  3. Vyque says:

    Wow, that was hilarious and a little scary, people like that shouldn’t exist outside tv

  4. jamie says:

    “Holy Captain Hook” haha you crack me up!!
    eeeek! ” A hottie” wtf!

  5. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Amy Chandra, The Obsessionista. The Obsessionista said: Hilarious!! Hottie with a body! Must read -> RT @midtowngirl: On MG – Character Breakdown: Needy in Nassau http://bit.ly/cdQrP0 #dating #nyc [...]

  6. Leesh says:

    haha that is hilarious! I am become addicted to reading your blog, and catching up o your old entries…this one could completely be a sitcom episode!

  7. A_D_ Cutie says:

    I just started reading your blog, and I love it! the way you describe men is just too funny!
    I’m currently attempting the world of online dating myself and it is full of some of the fine examples you have shown.

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