To my New Neighbor across the hall,
Anywho, I must admit that cordial greetings are not the only reason for writing you this letter.
You see, every time you leave your apt in the evenings & wkdns (esp. 6am on Sunday morns) your dog starts to cry. Let me rephrase this – he starts to WAIL UNCONTROLLABLY of what sounds to me cries of desperation and/or abandonment.
You see, I don’t mind if your dog (whom I can hear through 3 closed doors) cries bc he misses you, I just can’t deal with the incessant wailing for HOURS on end.
Bc I am a good neighbor, I will offer you some suggestions:
Please do something ASAP or I will have to put the Curse of Singledom on you.
For your reference, this is what it sounds like:
Feel what I’m sayin’???