Yea I’m back, bitches!!!



So… you, TFF, & I, are not technically “friends”. You are best friends with my very good friend. Since we share the same friend, I am forced to encounter your presence quite often.

Thus, I feel the need to get some things off of my medium-sized chest, alleviate some weight off my shoulders, and express what I have been wanting to for some time now….through MG of course! 😉


In life, we meet both positive & negative people.

You happen to be one of those ridiculously negative ones. Like the type of person who has a rainy, dirty grey cloud of shittiness hovering over them at all times.

And there are quite a few things about you that bother me to high hell.

Since we continue to meet – bc we share the same friend – I shall conveniently bullet point what specifically annoys me the most about you (in no particular order of course):

  • Stop inviting yourself, EVERYWHERE. Why is it, every time I make plans with our mutual friend, you always show up? Who does this??? Kindly wait for an invitation please. There are things I would rather not talk about, in your presence.
  • Stop asking me about every detail of my life and everything that I am doing to make it a better one. It’s interesting that I actually respond to your inquisitiveness – bc, of course, you inappropriately ask me in front of mutual friends – and when I finish sharing my current stat/bf/projects/etc., you respond with an apathetic, “oh, okay.”
What the hell does “oh, okay” mean exactly???
Damn you, Toxic Friend of a Friend!!
  • Stop asking me, EVERY TIME you see me, if what I’m wearing is REAL. The answer will always be yes. I do not partake in the fake.
  • Stop asking me “where to go in the city”. Why? Because, every time I make group plans and we go some where fun, you always end up either:
  1. Not having a good time;
  2. Feeling the venue is not “your style”;
  3. Saying “you’re not feeling this place”; or
  4. Asking me “where else can we go, this is boring”.
Do I effing have CITY SEARCH branded on my forehead?
Do you & me a favor – STAY.HOME.

  • Stop saying negative things about the guys who hit on me when we do go out. Every time a guy tries to talk to me, you try to ruin the opp by telling me that you are ‘saving’ me from a potential douche, with things like:
  1. He’s not that cute.
  2. Did you see what he was wearing???
  3. He was just talking to me earlier!!
I would like to tell you to focus on the guys that hit on you, but sadly, there aren’t many. Why? Not bc you aren’t attractive, I just think toxicity has a distinct odor that repels the opposite sex.

  • Speaking of guys…I find it very intriguing that all of your boyfriends are European globe trotters with names that end in a vowel. None of us have yet to meet one of your said fabulous gents IRL. So, the next time you start talking about one I will proceed to stand up and start belting out the national anthem.

Why? Bc that’s about as crazy as you thinking that any one of us would actually believe the B.S. you continue to dish out.

Save the calories, cut the b.s.
Thank you for understanding & have an effing great day ,TFF.


p.s. – Dahlings…do any of you have a Toxic ‘Friend’ or ‘Friend of a Friend’??? And

p.p.s. – The winner of the Gossip Girl Tour Tix Giveaway is…TheBeautyFile!! Congrats pretty girl & email me your deets! XOXO