Easter Sunday came and so did the multitude of personalized texts from the Misc. Guys I have dated in the past. I even received a greeting from one dude I dated almost 2 years ago, asking about my fam and other personal stuff!?
Why, Misc. Guy? To you, I write this letter hereby closing all future communications, whether it be via verbal, hand-written or by electronic means…

Dear Misc. Guy,

I’m not trying to be mean M.G., but you’re really not a thought to me, nor do I have the desire to wish you seasonal greetings every time one turns the corner.

So please just stop. It’s not cute nor endearing – it’s extraneous and just, well…sad.

Midtown Girl (the real MG!)

I would humbly like to request that everyone, after reading this letter, to please start singing the song “American Pie”, but to replace the ‘Miss American Pie’ hook with ‘Miscellaneous Guy’ instead. Thank you & good night!