R.I.P., Dr. 85034…

Written by on Sunday, November 30th, 2008 with 2 comments
We shall refer to jerk face, ahem, I mean Dr. 85034 as “Le Douche” from this point onwards.

Wow, so a day after mom has a stroke, SD (step dad) suggested I text Le Douche about her initial diagnosis since Le Douche is, after all, a neurosurgery resident. I wasn’t sure of what his schedule was but I texted him around 12pm EST. He responds around 5am EST with ‘text me when you get this’. Ok, so sounds like he cares right? Wrong. Anyway, I’m in a mad rush bc the fam had a long winded night before and now we need to make the 12:30pm visiting schedule so I didn’t text him back. He gives me a ring a few hours later (while I’m in ICU to see how she’s doing. I let it go to vm and then rang him back about an hour later). I give him the update via vm and decide to try to reach him later that eve. I give Le Douche a call around 8pm or so and I tell him her diagnosis, perhaps hoping he would be able to give some advice, which he does and we also talk about out our recent trips. I then ask him what’s gong on for New Year’s since he had said, when we met, that he wanted to come to NYC for the holiday. He tells me money maybe an issue but he will find out and let me know. This is the convo:

ME: “So how does New Year’s look for you?”
HE: “I’m not sure since I just came back from a big trip, so money maybe tight right now.”
ME: “Ok, no prob. If you want, you can stay at my apt while you’re here, I mean since we are dating you know.” (I say this in a lighthearted way)
HE: “Ah, yea that’s a good idea!”

There’s more to the convo, but this is the jist of it. I tell him I’ll call him the next day for an update and he says ok, convo ends.

Next day (Saturday), I call him but it goes straight to vm, so I leave a vm to give him an update on mom. No return call from Le Douche. Okaaay. It’s now Thursday (Thanksgiving) and I have not heard from Le Douche since that Friday. Strange. I call again thinking something may be wrong and leave a vm. I follow up with a text asking “are you okay”. No response. Uhm, WTF? It’s now Friday and I call once more and leave a vm asking if his ok, and just to let me know, and again I follow up with a text, thinking he maybe working and can’t call, so texting may work? No response. This is now making me paranoid, bc I’m not sure if I said anything or did anything or if something happened to him, and you would think he knows my mom is in the hospital and for sure he would at least call to see how she was doing right? Wrong.

I text him again ‘did something happen or did I say something that offended you’. Mind you I am sooo not the harassing type, in fact he had told me a few times “you remember my number right?” bc I never called or texted him, I always let him to the contacting (this is how I have always been with the guys I date, so they don’t feel like I’m some stalker- desperate chick, and it usually works!)

He texts back an hour later saying he will call me after he is finished with some crap thing he was doing, So 2 hours later, I am figuring he wont call bc he is bothered by something and the fact that he is not responding to me, is of course, making me even more crazy.

FYI-this is why normal girls act like idiots, bc guys don’t communicate properly and then disappear when things seem to be ok, and when we don’t know what the deal is, us sane chicks turn psycho, jerk face. I text again to see ‘if he wants to talk and if he doesn’t can he just tell me’. YES I KNOW THIS SOUNDS PSYCHO but I’m sorry when people don’t communicate properly this is what happens – I am a communicator – hello, MIDTOWN GIRL!!

So he finally texts back ‘I just got home. Maybe it’s better if we talk tomorrow’. I text ‘lets just talk now that way I don’t feel like I will be harassing you tom’ (don’t start ok, I wanted to know what was up, sheesh). Of course he doesn’t call that eve, and I immediately erase his number from my cell so as to prevent myself from further looking like a crazed fool than I do already and do not expect to hear from Le Douche ever again.

So, next day I head back out to the SI ferry and as I walk towards the pick up area where SD is waiting, my cell rings and I look at an unfamiliar number….oh wait, it’s Le Douche! I deleted his name which is why I didn’t recognize the number…

ME: “Hello.”
HE: “Hi how are you?”
ME: “Fine how are you?”
HE: “Good, how are you?”
ME: “Fine. How are you?” (Yup twice)
HE: “Great, how was Thanksgiving and how is your mom?” (oh nooooow he asks? FF!)

*FF=fuck face
ME: “She’s doing better, thanks. So what’s going on with you?”
HE: “Well, I had to take some time to think about our conversation the other day.”
ME: “What about exactly?”
HE: “Well…”
ME: “Actually I’m getting into the car to go to the hospital to see my mom, can I call you in 15 mins.”
HE: “Yea I have a half hour before I go to work.”

So SD & I drive to the hospital and SD goes up. The fam’s there in the room plus I have to get my coffee before I go up for my 8 hour visiting session (the last few days mom has been in the stroke ward so visiting hours are extended). While I get my Starbucks, I make a call to Le Douche. This is the convo:

ME: “Hi.”
HE: “Hey, so how’s your mom doing?”
ME: “Ok.” (I then proceed to talk about the nightmarish previous night; I need not get into details in this particular post).
HE: “Wow, I’m glad she’s ok.”
ME: “So, what is going on with you?”
HE: “Well, something you said concerned me last time we talked. What did you mean exactly, when you said we were ‘dating’? What exactly is your definition of dating?”

Here is where I wish he was in front of me, so I could bitch-slap him

ME: “Uhm, like dating, you know, I guess like we are seeing each other, whatever, I mean, what did you think I meant?”
HE: “Well, I mean I like you, but we only met one time, and this long distance thing is something I’m not used to, so its hard to get to know someone over the phone, I mean I only met you once.”
ME: “Yea, I didn’t say we were engaged, sheesh, I said dating, I wasn’t implying anything more, it’s not like I was assuming you were my boyfriend or anything.” (stupid jerk)
HE: “Yea, because we have been casually talking to each other, and even though I’m not seeing anyone else currently, I just want to be on the same page, because I think it makes sense that we are.”
ME: “Yea, I thought we were.”
HE: “Well I went out with my family last night and came back to see my cell barraged with texts and it kind of freaked me out.”
ME: “Well, I didn’t hear from you in a week and I figured you would have asked me how my mom was since she was in the hospital. And on Thanksgiving I sent you a text saying ‘Happy Thanksgiving’ and you never responded so the lack of communication, when I thought everything was cool, kind of alarmed me. It was just strange. I mean I am really easy to get along with and if something I said bothered you, instead of ignoring me you should have just told me.”
HE: “Well, I had to think about it. I mean I’m really busy and I can’t call you every day.”
ME: “Uhm, I never asked you that in fact I hardly ever contact you bc I am busy well.”
HE: “I just want to make sure there is no confusion, that we are just casually talking to each other because there’s no way you can get to know someone over the phone and I’ve never done this long-distance thing before.” (then why did he contact me in the first place, FF).
ME: “Yes, we are on the same page. If me saying ‘dating’ is what perturbed you then maybe I should have said seeing’ instead. I didn’t think there was a big difference.” (jerk face).
HE: “Yea bc I needed some time to think about it, when you said we were dating. And you seem upset at the fact I can’t call you al the time.” (HUH? Whatever dude)
ME: “No worries, I didn’t mean anything serious by that plus I probably was rambling on since I had a rough night the last time we spoke. But yea, we are on the same page so no worries.”
HE: “Ok, I’m glad we are because it was bothering me. Ok, I have to get to work.”
ME: “Yes I’m going to see my mom, hope you have a great day.”
HE: “You too, thanks. Bye.”

ADIOS Le Douche!

2 Comments on “R.I.P., Dr. 85034…”

  1. I think all boys should be put aside into a room during school for one period a day and be given COMMUNICATION 101. Instead of wasting away for over a week, he could've just asked, "Hey what do you mean by 'dating' cause I'm new to all of this," something along those lines; casual, polite, and diplomatic. But noooo, go M.I.A. to "think". It's like, "It takes days to think on something so simple? Really? That slow of a process?" Then we are called paranoid and psycho. Gosh, boys are dumb. lmao >_<

  2. First, thank you for your comments, you are awesome!

    Second, if, at 29, he does not know what dating means, it’s either bc he hasn’t enough, or just isn’t good at it.

    Either way, I’ll let him learn through someone else! 🙂

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