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Midtown Girl
Lifestyle & Fashion Editorial: Dating 2.0, Fashion & Style, NYC Living!
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WTF Wed’s: Top Ten lies you’ve told your parents while dating your 1st BF.
So Team MG interrogated (kidding) the cafe crowd at Starbucks on 42nd b/w lex & 3rd, to find out some interesting fibs told to parents while engaging in their first relationship…
Tryin’ to Find…Romance Online?
So it’s been 3 years that I have been single…and not for the lack of tryin! I started writing about my online dates last year and as I read through some them, it’s almost like a sitcom. Not really in a bad way, just in a way. My schedule is very hectic because of my business and I’m not interested in dating guys I work with – just not professional! (Besides I’m not surrounded by any cuties anyway, LOL). So I figured online dating would work best for me and save me from wasting my time in the bar/lounge/crap scene.In any case, I thought I might break down 2 of the top-dating services, of which I have tried over the course of my online-dating run (not at the same time of course – one at a time ladies – please, have some decorum!).
Just a note – there are obviously many online dating sites out there, way more than when I first became single, even those that are religiously or even sexually oriented, I’m just giving some info on the ones I have had experiences with :-}
MATCH.COM: Okay, Match is prob one of the top 2 online dating sites. In this one you have the ability to be VERY specific with what you are looking for in terms of everything. I’m talking height, hair & eye color specific. Almost like a ‘dating-store’. Besides physical specificity you can also narrow your ‘matches’ down to the T when it comes to location…even to specific zip codes!?!
The good: you can talk to whomever you want with out any site guidance, meaning you have the ability to contact anyone without getting prior approval. It doesn’t mean someone will get back to you, but you can always send a wink or whatever it is they call it, to show someone interest. I have never initiated contact, only bc if in person I wouldn’t do so, why would I change my behaviour just because I’m online? I wouldn’t and didn’t – the guy should come to me ;->
The bad: Guys are very visually-oriented right? Well you can imagine how they are when they do a search based off of their “requirements” and boy do they have some unrealistic ones (i.e. only prefer red-heads, petite, curly hair…you get the idea???). So, make sure your pics are good ones and also make sure you put whole body pics as well, otherwise guys will think you are afraid to, bc in real life, you maybe ‘curvy’ – aka – a large girl (large in all the wrong places).
Because of the ability to just look at pics, it’s not uncommon that some who date online would date like they would in real life – casually, as opposed to looking for a ‘serious’ relationship. But hey, that’s something you’ll end up figuring out eventually – right!
eHARMONY.COM: EH makes you do an online questionnaire that feels like it takes forever and a day, but it is necessary so that the site matches you up based on your personality profile: interests, character, relationship goals, etc. Not on your pics. For your potential matches, you can specify location, religion & relationship goals, etc., but EH does not have any options for physical specificity. You can specify ethnic background but unlike Match, you can’t pick out what attributes you prefer your match to have. The site guides all of your matches, so you are not able to do a search on your own, hence the reason for the questionnaire. Once they send you your potential match’s, you have the ability to connect to them right away via email (FastTrack) or communicate via a series of ready made questions (Guided Communication).
The good: many matches can seem to fit with you personality-wise, hence the initial personality test, and that is very important when deciding to communicate with someone whom you have never met in real life. Also, since there is no random pic search, if someone is matched up with you, it is bc they are looking for the same things you are. Because it takes time to go through matches & communications, this site tends to gear towards those that wish to be in a more dedicated, serious relationship, as opposed to just casual dating.
The bad: even thought they do a pretty good job of screening and connecting people through personality/character/goal compatibilities, there is no way you can put any type of physical preference here. I’m not saying you should be sooo specific in terms of physical attributes – that’s not the prob. The issue for me was height. Anything under 5’10″ does not work for me. You must be taller than me when I wear heels. So don’t be shocked if you get an influx of potential matches that are 5’4, 5’6, 5’1‘, etc. C’mon – at least you should be able to tell EH your height, that way they can do the math and connect the dots – HELLO!
And that is my little breakdown of the the top 2 online dating sites. If you do decide to try – please, please check out my prior ‘Top Ten‘ list posts -
TOP TEN: Online Dating Profile Red Flags – to be aware of!
TOP TEN: Things chicks put in their profiles that messes it up for the rest of us girls!
Have fun & good luck!!
P.S. – JEN, make sure you read that Red Flag list! xoxo
Professional Online Dater?…NOT ME! right??
Oh no. Please tell me no. As I was googling some ideas for my Blog subtitle, an article came up entitled “Avoid Becoming a Professional Online Dater” from onlinedatingmagazine.com. As I read through it, they listed particulars that might hint at someone being one. At the end of the list it says “If you’ve said yes to 6 or more, you may well be on your way to becoming a Professional Online Dater.”Here is the list, again, taken from onlinedatingmagazine.com, with my yes responses in bold blue…I think I may be feeling a bit blue at this point ;-/
- Do you sometimes want to end a date early, so you can go back home and check your messages and mailbox?
- Do you ever find yourself comparing someone you’re meeting or talking to with a great profile you’ve just seen?
- Do you feel relaxed and laid-back about dating because if it doesn’t work out there are plenty more fish in the sea?
- Are you putting off being in a relationship until you find the perfect person?
- Do you find it hard to choose between going out on a date with someone you already know and talking to someone new?
- If someone breaks up with you, are you back online within 24 hours?
- When dating someone, do you keep your profile active “just in case”?
- Are you an active member of more than two online dating sites?
- Have you ever stopped seeing someone because a better prospect landed in your inbox? Have you, on more than one occasion, dated more than 3 different people in a week?
- Does everything have to be perfect before you’d settle down with someone?
- Do you get anxious if you can’t check messages and mails for more than 24 hours, e.g. if away for the weekend?
- Have you been online dating for over a year without seeing one person exclusively for at least a month?
I could say yes to exactly 6…so does this mean – I, am a Professional Dater?!?! (…or maybe just a Professional Worrier!?!?
TOP 10: Things chicks put in their profiles that messes it up for the rest of us girls!
10. Lying about age – if you do, better know the faux year you were born then, so you don’t look like you are doing a mental math problem when they ask.
9. Lying about weight – what makes you think the guy won’t notice when they meet you? Voluptuous, thick, curvy, whatever you are – please be real!
8. Setting up more than one online date in an eve – that looks super skanky, especially if you get caught doing it…
7. Will only go out for dinner not just for a drink – screams user/gold-digger – where’s your decorum, seriously…ugh!
6. Lying about single status – you have a bf but just want to “hook up” ..uhm that’s called a HO! Now you made them think it’s just that easy to get some – puhlease hoochie – stick with craigslist then!
5. Puts up a fake pic – so, so very sad…
4. Requires all guys to be over 6’0 tall – either you are under 5’0 or you need to get a book on self esteem, please 
3. Saying anything sexual in her profile – supa, dupa ho. That’s just plain gross.
2. Requires a certain income level – ah, even if you do, are really insane enough to put that down – dayam!
10. Mass Email / Pointless Email: an email with nothing specifically referenced to your profile (sometimes happens on Match) – “Hey, saw your profile, send me an email back if your interested!” (These guys are just waiting to see, in general, who responds back to them).
Or emails that don’t really ask anything (sometimes happens on eHarmony) – “Hi, let’s chat sometime.” (Is it really hard to ask something or make an effort for some kind of conversational email??).
9. Incomplete Profile: profile states, “my likes: walking, talking”. Ahh yeah, pass.
8. Unclear in terms of what they are looking for: “I’m just looking for cool new friends.” Guys, high school ended a long time ago – puhlease!
7. ‘Type of Female they are looking for’- Preference section is blank: he has no preferences?? Yea right!
6. ‘Type of Female they are looking for’ – Preference Section has too many preferences: ex. – only prefers redheads who are 5’10″, 110pds & b/w 21-23 y.o.?? Tooo picky and prob shouldn’t be!
5. Living Status: guys 30 and up (or maybe even 28 and up) who have roommates or worse, live with their family? Shows lack of maturity and ability to establish a lifestyle of their own. Grow up please.
4. Family Status: kids live away from home/in home/close to home…doesn’t matter unless you are okay with Insta-Family – move on.
3. Height: this is the most lied about attribute for guys. Any guy who says they are a “short- 5’10″ or anything 5’10″ and under…subtract 1-2 inches from their listed height.
2. Weird Usernames: “Sarcastic Todd”; “Hardcore69″; “#1 Hottness”; “Beer & Cupcakes”. No and no and no and no.
And the #1 Online Dating Profile Red Flag is…
1. Unclear Pics / No pic at all: no frontal face pic? no full body pic? Or only one pic and it’s a profile shot? Probably got hit with the ugly stick!!
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