Tryin’ to Find…Romance Online?

Written by on Wednesday, April 1st, 2009 with 4 comments
So it’s been 3 years that I have been single…and not for the lack of tryin! I started writing about my online dates last year and as I read through some them, it’s almost like a sitcom. Not really in a bad way, just in a way. My schedule is very hectic because of my business and I’m not interested in dating guys I work with – just not professional! (Besides I’m not surrounded by any cuties anyway, LOL). So I figured online dating would work best for me and save me from wasting my time in the bar/lounge/crap scene.
I def have had some short-term relationships, but for some reason every time the 6- week mark rolls around, the relationship rolls out…it’s as if the 6-week point tells me (or him) whether or not the relationship has a point or even if our interests are the same.

In any case, I thought I might break down 2 of the top-dating services, of which I have tried over the course of my online-dating run (not at the same time of course – one at a time ladies – please, have some decorum!).

Just a note – there are obviously many online dating sites out there, way more than when I first became single, even those that are religiously or even sexually oriented, I’m just giving some info on the ones I have had experiences with :-}

MATCH.COM: Okay, Match is prob one of the top 2 online dating sites. In this one you have the ability to be VERY specific with what you are looking for in terms of everything. I’m talking height, hair & eye color specific. Almost like a ‘dating-store’. Besides physical specificity you can also narrow your ‘matches’ down to the T when it comes to location…even to specific zip codes!?!

The good: you can talk to whomever you want with out any site guidance, meaning you have the ability to contact anyone without getting prior approval. It doesn’t mean someone will get back to you, but you can always send a wink or whatever it is they call it, to show someone interest. I have never initiated contact, only bc if in person I wouldn’t do so, why would I change my behaviour just because I’m online? I wouldn’t and didn’t – the guy should come to me ;->

The bad: Guys are very visually-oriented right? Well you can imagine how they are when they do a search based off of their “requirements” and boy do they have some unrealistic ones (i.e. only prefer red-heads, petite, curly hair…you get the idea???). So, make sure your pics are good ones and also make sure you put whole body pics as well, otherwise guys will think you are afraid to, bc in real life, you maybe ‘curvy’ – aka – a large girl (large in all the wrong places).

Because of the ability to just look at pics, it’s not uncommon that some who date online would date like they would in real life – casually, as opposed to looking for a ‘serious’ relationship. But hey, that’s something you’ll end up figuring out eventually – right!

eHARMONY.COM: EH makes you do an online questionnaire that feels like it takes forever and a day, but it is necessary so that the site matches you up based on your personality profile: interests, character, relationship goals, etc. Not on your pics. For your potential matches, you can specify location, religion & relationship goals, etc., but EH does not have any options for physical specificity. You can specify ethnic background but unlike Match, you can’t pick out what attributes you prefer your match to have. The site guides all of your matches, so you are not able to do a search on your own, hence the reason for the questionnaire. Once they send you your potential match’s, you have the ability to connect to them right away via email (FastTrack) or communicate via a series of ready made questions (Guided Communication).

The good: many matches can seem to fit with you personality-wise, hence the initial personality test, and that is very important when deciding to communicate with someone whom you have never met in real life. Also, since there is no random pic search, if someone is matched up with you, it is bc they are looking for the same things you are. Because it takes time to go through matches & communications, this site tends to gear towards those that wish to be in a more dedicated, serious relationship, as opposed to just casual dating.

The bad: even thought they do a pretty good job of screening and connecting people through personality/character/goal compatibilities, there is no way you can put any type of physical preference here. I’m not saying you should be sooo specific in terms of physical attributes – that’s not the prob. The issue for me was height. Anything under 5’10” does not work for me. You must be taller than me when I wear heels. So don’t be shocked if you get an influx of potential matches that are 5’4, 5’6, 5’1‘, etc. C’mon – at least you should be able to tell EH your height, that way they can do the math and connect the dots – HELLO!

And that is my little breakdown of the the top 2 online dating sites. If you do decide to try – please, please check out my prior ‘Top Ten‘ list posts –

TOP TEN: Online Dating Profile Red Flags – to be aware of!

– & –

TOP TEN: Things chicks put in their profiles that messes it up for the rest of us girls!

Have fun & good luck!!

P.S. – JEN, make sure you read that Red Flag list! xoxo

4 Comments on “Tryin’ to Find…Romance Online?”

  1. I tried Match for awhile. I liked it’s simplicity (vs. eHarmony’s life-long questionnaire) and how specific you’re allowed to search. After some time, it seemed as though the creepy type of guys that typically try to add me on MySpace decided one day to invade Match. Maybe it’s my zip code? LOL

  2. Not the zip, it’s totally the guys – remember Character Breakdown: the Italian Stallion – with the fake pic!! He was from Match. Hope he got what he dished out – HA!

  3. I have heard of both sites, but I heard EH was pretty expensive. And I, like you am tall. 5’9 w/o heels and for some reason, that isn’t tall enough!!! LOL I have to wear hooker boots a tall chunly heels too! So I can’t have no short-short man!

    Does charge you to be a member?

    I actually have a date w/a friend of a friend tomorrow. We have been chatting since last week and we added each other on Facebook, so I know he’s cute. BUT…..He is my height!!! YIKES!

    Oh well, when I finally get around to it, I will blog about tomorrows date AND the last HORRIFYING one!

    Sheesh, it’s like I just wrote you a whole damn email! LOL Sorry!

  4. J – I'm not even tall! 5'5"!! But with heels can sometimes be 5'9" but let me tell you there are so many, many shorties out there it's ridiculous!! I def need someone taller than me in heels, so if they are not, I immediately take them off my radar.

    I believe you can fill out a profile for Match and search for potential matches for free, then if you like what you see, you can subscribe. EH you would have to subscribe but they have different payment options available, for ex. you can subscribe for a yr and pay in 3 monthly payments (I believe 3 payments of $80 or somewhere in that area). But it would be for the whole year!

    I like EH better, bc it seems to be geared towards people who know what they are looking for in a potential partner (of course, some of them don't but that's their prob!). Match has a lot of younger guys on it, who are still unsure of what they want & just want to date a bunch of people at the same time, so it feels like a casual dating site to me – although I have a friend who knows people who actually got married after meeting someone on Match. I guess each experience varies. 😉

    And have fun on your date – you deserve it!!! Make sure to post so we can find out what happens…

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