In any case, I thought I might break down 2 of the top-dating services, of which I have tried over the course of my online-dating run (not at the same time of course – one at a time ladies – please, have some decorum!).
Just a note – there are obviously many online dating sites out there, way more than when I first became single, even those that are religiously or even sexually oriented, I’m just giving some info on the ones I have had experiences with :-}
MATCH.COM: Okay, Match is prob one of the top 2 online dating sites. In this one you have the ability to be VERY specific with what you are looking for in terms of everything. I’m talking height, hair & eye color specific. Almost like a ‘dating-store’. Besides physical specificity you can also narrow your ‘matches’ down to the T when it comes to location…even to specific zip codes!?!
The good: you can talk to whomever you want with out any site guidance, meaning you have the ability to contact anyone without getting prior approval. It doesn’t mean someone will get back to you, but you can always send a wink or whatever it is they call it, to show someone interest. I have never initiated contact, only bc if in person I wouldn’t do so, why would I change my behaviour just because I’m online? I wouldn’t and didn’t – the guy should come to me ;->
The bad: Guys are very visually-oriented right? Well you can imagine how they are when they do a search based off of their “requirements” and boy do they have some unrealistic ones (i.e. only prefer red-heads, petite, curly hair…you get the idea???). So, make sure your pics are good ones and also make sure you put whole body pics as well, otherwise guys will think you are afraid to, bc in real life, you maybe ‘curvy’ – aka – a large girl (large in all the wrong places).
Because of the ability to just look at pics, it’s not uncommon that some who date online would date like they would in real life – casually, as opposed to looking for a ‘serious’ relationship. But hey, that’s something you’ll end up figuring out eventually – right!
eHARMONY.COM: EH makes you do an online questionnaire that feels like it takes forever and a day, but it is necessary so that the site matches you up based on your personality profile: interests, character, relationship goals, etc. Not on your pics. For your potential matches, you can specify location, religion & relationship goals, etc., but EH does not have any options for physical specificity. You can specify ethnic background but unlike Match, you can’t pick out what attributes you prefer your match to have. The site guides all of your matches, so you are not able to do a search on your own, hence the reason for the questionnaire. Once they send you your potential match’s, you have the ability to connect to them right away via email (FastTrack) or communicate via a series of ready made questions (Guided Communication).
The good: many matches can seem to fit with you personality-wise, hence the initial personality test, and that is very important when deciding to communicate with someone whom you have never met in real life. Also, since there is no random pic search, if someone is matched up with you, it is bc they are looking for the same things you are. Because it takes time to go through matches & communications, this site tends to gear towards those that wish to be in a more dedicated, serious relationship, as opposed to just casual dating.
The bad: even thought they do a pretty good job of screening and connecting people through personality/character/goal compatibilities, there is no way you can put any type of physical preference here. I’m not saying you should be sooo specific in terms of physical attributes – that’s not the prob. The issue for me was height. Anything under 5’10” does not work for me. You must be taller than me when I wear heels. So don’t be shocked if you get an influx of potential matches that are 5’4, 5’6, 5’1‘, etc. C’mon – at least you should be able to tell EH your height, that way they can do the math and connect the dots – HELLO!
And that is my little breakdown of the the top 2 online dating sites. If you do decide to try – please, please check out my prior ‘Top Ten‘ list posts –
Have fun & good luck!!
P.S. – JEN, make sure you read that Red Flag list! xoxo