Sooo…remember the date I had last wknd with that jerkface? Remember how he described his last 2 ex’s as “Psychos“?? And – you know how I always say, guys who call their ex’s psycho, usually have something wrong with them??
Well, read on…
By Matt Titus <—yes, this is written by a GUY!!
I was waiting for a friend at a restaurant when a beautiful woman asked if she could join me. She sat down and said, “You don’t remember me, do you, Matt?” She looked familiar, but before I could respond, she said, “It’s Belinda, from Philadelphia.” Um, Belinda (not her real name), as in the craziest ex-girlfriend ever? I scanned her body for hidden weapons. You see, even guys who race motorcycles and laugh at Saw VI want to run to Mama when faced with a psycho ex.
I thought I had blocked out the bad memories in the seven years since our split, but the flashbacks began immediately. There was Belinda threatening to jump out of the car if I didn’t let her listen to my voice mail. Belinda accusing me of sleeping with the coworker I was having lunch with. And how could I forget Belinda parking outside my apartment and watching me walk by with another date? I was ripped back to reality when she said, “Matt, I’m sure a lot has changed since you used to hide your phone, sleep with coworkers, and double-book your Friday nights.” I smiled nervously as we exchanged niceties.
After she left, I questioned my memory of our two-year relationship. Come to think of it, I did talk to other girls when I was seeing Belinda. I, uh, also had affairs toward the end, trying out new girlfriends on Friday nights before going to her place. Then it hit me:
Her craziness began after I started treating her terribly. Yes x 100!!!
The Blame Game
It’s tough to face, but the truth is, most men use the term crazy to describe an ex in order to cast ourselves as the victim rather than admit to being the villain in a past relationship. It’s hard to find fault in our dating behavior because that might lead us to more troubling realizations about how we need to improve as people. It’s a lot easier to reassign the guilt and start looking for the next love of our life.
And when we do find a keeper, the crazy ex-girlfriend is a fictional character that helps us get your complete allegiance. By claiming that women in our past have wronged us, we hope you’ll want to make up for our heinous experiences by showing us how a great guy should be treated — preferably with mind-blowing sex.
If your man starts talking about his crazy ex, keep this in mind: Most women don’t go nuts for no reason (thank you!), and details tend to be blown out of proportion. When he says something like “She called me 20 times in one night,” she really called only three times in a week when he vanished after saying “I love you.” Drama-kings
To get the real story on his past loves, believe half of what you hear and all of what you see.
Focus on how he treats you — specifically, whether he takes your needs and concerns seriously or shrugs them off. If it’s the latter, you could end up being his next psycho ex.
Well there it is, dahlings!
What are your thoughts on a guy who calls their ex “psycho” or “crazy”???
p.s. – If you haven’t already, please don’t forget to add your fabulush self to my Google Friend Connect Widget and RSS feed for MG! XOXO
13 thoughts on “Cosmo Time: Guys Who Call Their Ex’s “Psycho””
Hey hun! U always have the best posts! Xx
Personally, I am instantly turned off by a boy who calls their ex “psycho” or “crazy.” It’s not like I want him to stay besties with the ex in question, but you don’t need to badmouth her. Besides, oftentimes it’s the boys who refer to their exes in that way who have the real problems. :/
Love this. I agree with Cafe – It’s been my experience that when men describe all their exes as “crazy” or “bitches” for no good reason (ie she cheated, etc) they’ll most likely eventually call YOU a crazy bitch.
I had an ex who HATED all of his exes because they were mean to him – and they were, he showed me FB messages from his most recent ex. But after I broke up with him, he just couldnt or wouldnt take a hint so eventually, after about 2 months of borderline stalker behavior I had to be very mean to get him to leave me alone. I felt terrible about it but he FINALLY got the hint and left me alone.
Moral of the story is, look for fellas who say things like “we just weren’t right for each other but I wish her the best” and say that about your exes too :}
I’m going to chime in about the fact it can be disturbing when a guy starts talking bad about his ex. It makes you wonder, especially if you start putting his story together and turns out, he’s had more than one “psycho” in his past.
This is a great post – thanks for sharing it.
This is a great post, it’s nice to hear the guy’s perspective on it, and good he maybe realized he’s the one that could of possibily made her ‘pyscho’ himself.
Name calling a guy jerkface 3x (includes photo reference) and then judging him for name calling an ex??
Even having a key word tag “douches” in available in your library of posts??
Nice double standard and great way to self-sabotage your success in the dating world.
Anger towards men = red flag for men sincerely interested in a long term relationship.
Single Guy – Seriously, why are you even here? It’s like attacking Carrie Bradshaw for the scrunchie debacle.
Jerkface earned the name and shouldn’t be bad mouthing his exes on a first date. It’s a total turn off.
MG is a lover, not a hater…you on the otherhand, clearly have some issues to sort out.
I get angry at men and am in a long term relationship. Specifically I get angry at the man I’m in a long term (married 12+ years) with and tell him so. And he’s man enough to know when he deserves it. The oppositie true as well. Sometimes I’m the jerkface and he let’s me know… yet somehow we’re still together…. hmmm….
Exactly! The guy that calls you crazy, is cause they don’t want the guilt and want to play the victims… When he was really not emotionally available and was lying to me that he misses me and love me.. Jerks! And he did expressed of his 2 girlfriends being psychos he is the one that drives you crazy
Well I am the newest “crazy ex”. My ex boyfriend bad mouthed all his exes and played victim and he dumped them all. Well he cheated on me manipulated me, abused me then dumped me kicked me out of our apartment and has kept my things, and now he is dating “in love” with one of the many girls he cheated on me with. I read their messages while I was still with him and he got her to believe I was crazy and he needed to end our 4 year relationship and she was calling me crazy saying I still want him she won him. I just wanted my stuff back but he ignored me so 6 months later I am healing while they put on a show as being a perfect couple calling me names…this new girl will be the next crazy ex. My ex even hates his mom and disrespects her so I see now if I guy has all bad things to say about all his Ezra and his mom that you are no different and will be just like them.
Seriously, my husband does have a CRAZY EX! On one of our first dates, she called him and texted him over 40 times in a two hour span. This was after she LEFT him for another man. Even though she left him, she calls me a “home wrecker,” and we’ve been together for almost 8 years. She abandoned her daughter, who now calls me mom, but I’m the bad guy in this situation. She lost her cushy job within state government and now works in a factory for disabled people. She uses both weed and meth. The woman is CRAZY.
See this is why I “keep it moving”. Because even if a woman tries to warn the guy’s new girlfriend about his past behavior the new girlfriend will always takes the guy’s side because 1. She will later find out on her own and 2. She has low self esteem and doesn’t care about his past.
My current boyfriend says that about his ex’s. Not all but most of them. His recent ex from a year and a half ago because we started dating that same year but a few months after they broke up, we ran into her 4 months after we started dating at a bowling alley and what do you know, she’s in the lane next to us. She stood there, between where you get the balls and where you sit, and she stared at us the entire time. I’m there looking at him while sje’s looking at me look at him and I’m smiling and showing her that I’m having a good time regardless of her staring impolitely and he was scared of her. First thought that came to my mind was, “He probably broke her heart really bad.” Well, he got thirsty and so was I, there was this drink bar behind us, I made him go up and get us water because it was my turn to bowl anyways and when I turned around she was directly behind him texting someone and looking at the back of his head. I was like, “Don’t do it..” And he walked right passed her not realizing she was there thankfully and she walked back to her seat. Well, the next day, I get a message from her “boyfriend” saying “tell your man if I ever see him talking to Tammy* again that I’ll beat him..he hurt her…you were called the psycho ex that he dated…he messed Tammy* up…he did this and that” and I was pissed but I took a deep breath and knew it was her messaging through him anyways. I said, “What happened between you two in the past is none of my business. Please leave me out of this. Have a nice day.” Kind of being sarcastic at the end there but she said “you too thank you” and I was like wtf. Next thing you know she posts a status saying she’ll never take him back he treated her like crap has a dark heart too and just because he lifts it “don’t mean shi” and then says in another post “guess I was wrong for helping” Then she texted him a few months ago right after our 1 year and said “hi” and her friends try adding him on social media… he told me he only dated her for her personality because she was different.