Sadly, I’m sure many of you can relate to this post. We meet a great guy, he says all the right things, seems super into you and then once the relationship gets serious, he runs for the hills. Typically this happens because the guy never really wanted a relationship at all. Or he gets scared of the commitment.
I get so frustrated with this behavior because I’d respect a guy SO much more if he was just honest and upfront with me. It might hurt to hear it but it’s less painful than dragging something out.
Also, when a guy does this, it immediately makes me insecure. “What did I do?” When it was nothing I did at all.
One positive thing about my long, terrible dating history is that it has taught me how to spot the red flags. I have the playbook of dodging mine fields. In my experience, here are 4 ways to tell if he’s lying about wanting a relationship:
- He texts late at night. One of my pet peeves! If a guy is only texting you after 10pm, then you are not his girlfriend. He has something on his mind. Unless you two discussed ‘hey can I call you later I’ll be working late’ beforehand, there’s no reason he only texts you after the sun is down. Side note: I hate texting. I’d much prefer a man pick up the phone. But that’s a whole other post for another time.
- You don’t hear/see him for days. If he lets too much time lag between contact then he’s definitely not serious about the relationship. Unless you’ve openly discussed that you don’t want to communicate every day (hey, that’s your prerogative) he shouldn’t wait more than 24 hours to pass without hearing your voice. Not in a stalker way lol but an “I’m into you” way.
- He has a wandering eye. Probably the most obvious to me but one I’ve seen forgiven all too often by women. As the song goes “I only have eyes for you.” If a man wants a serious commitment to you then that means all women are off the table. He shouldn’t be putting out any signals to other women that it’s okay to flirt or ogle.
- You have to make excuses for him. There is nothing I hate more than to hear my friends making excuses for the guys they are dating. One or two times I understand. Life happens. But if it becomes a constant thing, “oh he stood me up because a meeting ran late” then I’m waving my hands in their face like HELLO.
You should never have to make excuses for your man. Never.
I hope these guidelines help with your dating journey. In the words of Pat Benatar, “Love is a battlefield” lol. Are there any other signs you’ve spotted? What’s been your experience?
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Kimberlee blogs about her love of fashion and beauty at I Have A Degree In This!. She’s lived in Midtown Manhattan for 8 years and has tried it all when it comes to dating.