Happy New Year! When the calendar year changes to January 1st everyone starts make resolutions. “A new year, a new you” as the cliché goes. Bustle Magazine had an article titled, “8 Things You Should While You’re Single to Make Your Next Relationship Healthier” (that’s a mouthful). I really liked this post and it is something I think every single person should do. So why not start in 2015? Don’t focus on the negative and be depressed that you’re single. Look at this time as an opportunity to improve upon yourself.
It will seriously help your next relationship.
I think the fault of many 20-something relationships is that people go into them hoping the other person will “complete them” or fill some void in their life. Relationships succeed best when two people who have a clear understanding of who they are and what they want out of life come together. So here my 4 things I think everyone woman should do in between relationships (and perhaps add to her new year’s resolution list):
Be okay with being alone. Something I know many people struggle with. People jump from relationship to relationship for fear of being alone. Why? You’re pretty awesome! You should hang out with yourself from time to time. Being alone doesn’t have to imply loneliness. Take yourself to a movie or do an activity solo. If you’re not okay with being alone then you might suffocate your partner.
Know your flaws. Let’s face it… we all bring some “baggage” to a relationship. Take a hard look in the mirror and be honest with yourself about what those flaws are, so you can manage them for your next relationship. Guys may put up with them but it’s really not cute to be a jealous, insecure, needy woman. Address where those faults are coming from and perhaps take the time to squash them before putting that heavy burden upon someone else. A good question to ask: Would you want to date you?
Know what you deserve. More so than what you want, know what you deserve. Women tend to make lists for their ideal partner but let’s be real… we all just want a man who respects us. The only list (mental or written down) you should have is the list of what you deserve from a partner. We all deserve to be wooed and cared for. He may not have the look, the style or the career you had hoped for but at the end of the day if he’s a quality man then you will overlook those superficial things (or at least you should).
Develop healthy friendships. Something that will help with #1 is having great friends. I think it’s important for every woman to have a great group of friends she can rely on. It’s been hard for me in the past to remain friends with women because we’re taught to be so catty with one another. Maintaining healthy friendships is great practice for a relationship. It requires a constant back and forth and open communication about what the other person needs. A man might not always be there. And when you do find a man, they’ll be honest with you about the good and bad.
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photo: Viktor Hanacek