So you watched Sex and the City and want to move to New York to find your Big (or Aiden).
Or you fell in love with Serena’s fabulous life on Gossip Girl. Well, sorry to be the bearer of bad news but dating in New York City is not that glamorous. Don’t get me wrong, you can have fabulous dates but the dating scene is not built for long-term relationships.
Everyone is so busy, focused on their careers and thinking about the next adventure rather than slowing down to give the time a new relationship needs. Before you jump in to the dating pool, here’s what you need to know (and things I wish I had known):
- Don’t move to the city to find love. This may sound harsh but Manhattan is not built for falling in love… unless it’s with the city. It’s great for having great dates but men here are not ready for settling down. They move to the ‘burbs for that. Manhattan is great for building your career and having fabulous adventures with friends. But, the majority of men (in my experience) don’t slow down to put in the time for a long-term relationship.
- Everyone is on some kind of dating site. Everyone I know is on a site or at least using an app. OkCupid is the most popular site so you’re bound to run into familiar faces. People are busy in the city so dating is another thing we like to “pencil in.” Definitely not the traditional route.
- Have a wing woman (or man). You definitely should do dating with friends. The dating scene is what I would call “shark infested waters” and you can quickly feel bombarded. If you have at least one other person doing it with you then it’s not as scary. Several of my friends and I made dating profiles together and coached each other through the matches.
- Your better love short lawyers. If you’re not into guys 5’5″ and shorter then Manhattan might not be the best dating pool for you. Most of the men are also in the law/financial industry. In my experience, those guys are such tools. Have a lot of growing up to do since those industries tend to be fraternities. I don’t know where Carrie met all those gorgeous tall men but it’s not reality.
- Men know they’re the minority and can have their pick. Read: beware of jerks! Women are the majority in Manhattan, which is awesome, we’re kicking ass in the business world and looking good while doing it. But, unfortunately, this gives men the advantage to be jerks to women because they know there’s another 8 right behind her. I joke with friends that you have to find the guy who just moved here before he turns jaded.
What other advice would you give? What’s been your experience?