exes

by @KimberleeVDW

If you’re like me and have had the unfortunate privilege to date some real doozies then this post is for you. I haven’t seen or spoken to my ex in close to 2 years. Yet he still pops up once in a while for no apparent reason. It seems like every 6 months or so he’ll text me out of the blue. “What’s up” is usually his go to. There’s never like “Hey it’s ___ (because ya know… I deleted his number and all). I know it’s been awhile, just wanted to see how you were doing…” blah blah. You know, some kind of human discussion since we haven’t seen or spoken to each other!

Here’s his latest texts:

text from ex

WHAT? May I remind you… haven’t seen or spoken to him in nearly 2 years. Yet he expects me to just meet up with him to help him with something related to my career? (i.e. probably help him find a job). Ugh. I dated him. This is why I took a break from dating.

He’s not the only ex that still pops up unfortunately.

I have tried everything when it comes to trying ex-communicate with exes. Cursing them out, talking to them in person like “this is over do not call me”. They don’t listen. The most effective way of dealing with an ex in my experience has been to cut them off entirely and if they still text you randomly, to just ignore. Replying just engages them and they end up doing it more and more. When you ignore, at first, they might think it’s a game but eventually they get the picture. Or…so we hope.

Ignoring a guy also tends to bring out the truth. It is pretty enlightening.

Recent example: had a guy who always played with my emotions and acted like he couldn’t commit. But as soon as I was done with that game and started ignoring his calls/texts the tables turned completely. He started apologizing, pouring feelings out (who knew he had any?), begging me to see him. The truth was revealed to me that he was the insecure one which is why he played games. Glad I found that truth out before things went too far.

So ladies, next time you see a text from your ex or a number that looks hauntingly familiar just IGNORE!

What has been your experience with exes? Do they still text you?

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Kimberlee blogs about her love of fashion and beauty at I Have A Degree In This!. She’s lived in Midtown Manhattan for 8 years and has tried it all when it comes to dating.