I’ve been using an online dating site for a few weeks  now & so disappointed with it! I consider myself an attractive, intelligent woman with a great career and social life, so I’m really surprised (and frustrated) that my inbox is not full of appropriate matches. I get emails from guys who are sometimes 10 years older than me (I’m 30) and from guys who are not physically my type (nothing against short guys, but I’m 5’8, so a guy shorter than 5’10 would not really be a fit for me).  I have 2 photos and what I thought was interesting background info in my profile, so what am I doing wrong? Do you have any tips because I’m ready to give up on the whole online dating thing?

First, don’t give up on online dating!!! Second, if you’ve only been on a dating site for a few weeks, you’re not giving the process a real chance. Fact is, online dating is not much different than real life dating, except that it can take a longer time to actually meet an online match offline. First impressions are EVERYTHING x 100 when it comes to online dating, so it’s important for you to put your best virtual foot forward & show these guys why they should get in touch with you.

Here are 2 important tips for a good online dating profile:

1. Your photos are what WILL get the guy’s attention (obvs). Make sure to have 4-5 great pics on there. What makes for a great pic?

•  A gorgeous face shot. I suggest one that is taken no higher that your chest area. Natural headshot-like photos will show every blemish, wrinkle & scar, so pick a photo that is a bit further away and taken on a downward angle.
• Pick a flattering full-body shot. A full body shot with you wearing a pretty dress, flattering  jeans or a cute outfit will totes get a guys attention. Scantily clad/bikini shots, a super conservative outfit, or pics with you standing behind something (shows you are not confident about your figure) will have a potential guy click past your profile.
• Choose photos that feature YOU. So many profiles include pics of friends, family & even ex’s that are cut out. A guy wants to get to know you first, so it’s best to show pics that feature you & you only. *Cute pet pics are an exception, of course.

2. Guys rarely read your online profile in its entirety. Since they usually skim through the first few lines, make them count!

• Start with what you love about your life. Dating is tough and sometimes we forget the things that make us happy in life. Whether it’s your career, friends or family, share what makes you happy.
• Leave the sarcasm for your besties. While witty is cute, sarcasm comes off as bitchy (seriously). Keep your commentary on a fun, lighthearted note.
• Keep your profile positive. Even if there are things in your life that are not going so great, save your complaints & issues for girlfriend talks. No one new wants to know what annoys you. 

 photo credit: weheartit.com/entry/15619177/via/TheLoliCure

First date & it was AMAZE. Not only was he attractive (which is uber hard to find, btw) but we got along swimmingly (3 hr convo & I only drank less than 2 drinks!!). Last night’s date was super good & I hope to fill you dolls in on what’s next…wish me luck gorg peeps!

I’m so excited to know that you dolls care about what I wore on my date. That means SOO much to me. I will post pics soon for shiz.

P.S. I LOVE YOU. Period.

kissies,

Hi dolls! This week’s “Ask MG” vid, addresses a dating question from darling reader Diana in Jacksonville, FL…

Dahlings – have you encountered any of  the Red Flags mentioned?

kissies,

source

the very FIRST guy you’ve ever met on an online dating site 4 years ago, finds you back on the same site & emails you…

He was the 1st guy I dated after my EX-EX & I broke up. Our date-ship lasted for 6 weeks until he lost his job as a trader and “had to figure things out”. I remember him asking me questions like “would you have a big wedding or a small wedding?” (completely effing with my freshly traumatized emotions) and “do you cook? bc it drives me nuts if a girl pulls out a stack of menus and orders dinner out” (welcome to the big city, dollface).

I wonder if he still lives in his mom’s basement…(later revealed to me by one of his “buds”).

Granted I haven’t been online dating for 4 years straight, but this is kinda RIDIC.

Could this be a sign from the dating gods that I’ve overstayed my online dating welcome…?

kissies,

And your fav part is…???

kissies,

source

I get tons of emails asking for tips on how to write online dating emails. So, what better way to answer them than in a post* on MG!

*Certain deets have been changed to protect the ridiculous.

BAD:

Hi,
My Name Is Jeff
I Live In Manhattan – Downtown
Was Born In Queens, NY
One Of Four Kids, Have Brothers
I Manage A Consulting Company
I Am Also A Guitar Player And Love To Play Guitar
I Enjoy The Most When I Can Play For Friends & Family.
I Love Trying New Restaurants.
I Enjoy Reading Food And Music Magazines.
I Try To Work Out At Least 3 Times A Week
I Love To Travel, Been To South America, ,the Shore of New Jersey, Italy, Far East, Mexico
I Enjoy The Theater, Movies And Going To Clubs To Dance
I Have A Boat (FREEDOM) & Spend Lots Of Time Hanging Out In The Sun!!!
I Am Looking For A Friend, Love & Soul Mate
I Am A Kind & Considerate Person
I Believe That A Women Is 1st & Foremost & Should Be Treated That Way!
I Would Love To Talk & Hear More About You
Looking Forward To Hearing From You
Have A Great Day!!!!
Sincerely,
Jeff
P.S. – This Email Looks Real Generic & I Do Not Disagree, But No Matter How I Twist & Change It, Still Comes Up Looking Generic! -Jeff.

BAD (2nd email):

Hey,

So, what does a man have to do to get your attention and maybe even a conversation out of you?

Get over yourself.

Seth

GOOD:

Dear MG,

I noticed from your profile that we have quite a few things in common. Like you, I’m a foodie and enjoy trying out new restaurants in the city. Do you have any new favorites?

I moved into the city 2 years ago (from Chicago). I live downtown and love it here. How long have you lived in the city?

I have to say your picture caught my attention, you look beautiful. Let me know if you would like to chat, would be great to learn more about you.

Best,

Richard

So, why is the GOOD email…GOOD?

“Richard” did the following, and so should you (both guys & girls):

1. Point out something that the two of you have in common from his/her profile (which means you actually read some of it).
2. Write just a few brief & simple things about yourself without sounding arrogant or conceited.
3. Ask a question about his/her interests.
4. Give a sweet compliment without sounding too forward or overly sexual.
5. End the email with a question, that way opening up an opportunity for a future email response.

And of course, always SPELL CHECK :->

kissies,

source

Needy in Nassau is an Investment Consultant who works & lives in Nassau, LI, is in his late 30′s, 6ft tall with light brown hair/blue eyes. We chatted via email for a few days until we finally spoke over the phone…

Last email from me:

‘Would be great to talk over the phone. Here is my num…’

About 5 mins – yes 5 – I get a call..from NN. This should be interesting…

ME: “Hello?”

HE: “Hey, its NN!”

ME: “Hi. That was quick!”

HE: “Yea, I figured why not try you now since you are online anyway.” (huh?)

ME: “Ok, how was your day?”

HE: “Pretty good. I live & work in Nassau, how about you.”

ME: “I live & work in Midtown. Do you come into the city at all?”

HE: “Yea. Well, not really. Only if I have a reason to.” (well good thing you’re calling MG…wtf?)

ME: “Are you originally from Nassau?”

HE: “Yea. My parents live here. How long have you lived in the city for?”

ME: “I went to NYU for undergrad and have lived in the city ever since.”

HE: “Oh well lah-dee-dah, NYU huh… excuse me!” (what the fuck?)

HE: “How long have you lived in Midtown?”

ME: “Ya. I’ve been living in Midtown for 10 years.” (yes, holler at your true MG – LOL!)

HE: “Is that your dog barking? He sounds cute.”

ME: “Yes, she’s a pom.”

HE: “Ohhhh, well lah-dee-dah! A Pomeranian huh!” (WTF with this la-dee-dah shit. Shut up already.)

HE: “So, what are you looking for?”

NOT YOU.

ME: “In a relationship? I guess I’m looking for my better half…I mean, that’s a pretty brazen question to ask in a 1st phone convo!”

HE: “I’m just asking because a lot of women are looking for a perfect person and there is no such thing.” (fabulous -another jaded online dater…for hell’s sake.)

HE: “Especially when women get older, like my age, they are so picky and honestly how can they be so picky when they are my age?” (he’s 37)

LOL X 100..What the dilly-o with age OCD? Wow.

ME: “Have you had many women your age that are super picky?”

HE: “Yea, and they don’t want to settle down, they’re waiting for the perfect guy and they’re already mature.”

I’m def getting off the phone asap.

ME: “Hmm, I don’t know what to say, I guess everyone is different. Sounds like you had some bad experiences.”

HE: “Well, I got married when I was 27 to a hottie. And that was the worst mistake ever.”

A hottie? LOL.

ME: “What happened?” (why am I asking this..why am I still on the phone…wtf is wrong with me?)

HE: “I owned a tanning salon (kill me) and she worked for me. I was 27, she was 21. She was a hottie – like 5’10, 118 pds and I wanted to show her off.” (why does everyone’s ex have model stats?? WHATEVZ.)

ME: “Ok.”

HE: “She was abusive though. And I don’t hit women.”

ME: “What do you mean by abusive, like she hit you?”

HE: “Yes, she would flip out, go crazy, she even slammed the door on my hand and it sliced off the top part of my finger.”

Holy Captain Hook.

ME: “Uhm, wow. That’s insane. And this was how long ago?”

HE: “10 years ago.”

ME: “Sounds like you are still traumatized. Sorry you had to go through that. I really am. Well, I have to go walk my dog, she’s still barking as you can hear.”

HE: “No prob. I would really like to take you out. What does your schedule look like?”

ME: “Let me see and get back to you, ok?  Have a great night.” (And a great life.)

Here’s the deal – everyone has baggage, right? But what type  & how much baggage are you willing to accept?

kissies,

source

Stat#5 is INSANE.

Stat #7 is totally true.

Stat#’s 8 & 10 are RIDIC.

Stat#11 makes me sick.

via: OnlineSchools.org

AND…

Random Single Stats (according to census stats as told on a recent Tyra epi)

Chances of a single woman getting married in her:

20′s is … 86%

30′s is … 74%

40′s is … 40%

Median Age of those who get married –  Men 27, Women 25

Also, 1 in 6 married women say they were happier when they were single.

LOL.

How close is Staten Island to the Jersey Shore, you ask???

Tooo damn close, if you ask me!

So, when one fellow from SI (a cop, but of course) emailed me with interest in further connecting,  I took a look at his online profile.

In his response for “the most influential person in your life”, SI Guy wrote (ps-you dolls know that I refuse to correct other peeps verbiage, right?):

“My Brother becuase hes always looking out for everyone. even though he could use a beating sometimes.”

Sweet, huh?

kissies,

p.s. – Dahlings, please feel free to subscribe to MG via RSS (in the ‘MG Social’ widget) and post any questions/ thoughts/ info in the MG Forum, it is there for you! XOXO

Hi, my dahlings! I have missed you x 100 and I am sooo excited to be part of your bloggy lives again

So, sometime ago, after chatting back & forth via email with a new fellow, we decided to take the next step and talk over the phone.

Great.

Let’s call said gent TMI. TMI is an international business consultant in his early-thirties, an IVY grad & a member of all sorts of fraternal like leagues. And – very attractive. Like scholar-hottie attractive.

TMI & I had lots of things in common – both foodies, went to same undergrad, similar music tastes, b-lah, b-lah. And according to our online dating profiles, our “personality traits” worked seamlessly (oh, the magic of compatibility analysis!).

Thus, I was uber excited to learn more about TMI. He called me one eve, while I was just coming in from a city downpour. I spoke to him for a few moments and asked if I could call him back bc I was drenched and wanted to change.

“Of course.” says TMI.

I change into something warm (and cashmere), feed Midtown Pups and then ring up TMI. TMI picks up and we begin to chat. After sometime, convo shifts to his recent travels…

HE: “I just came back from London, from a 3 month long work trip.”

ME: “Oh, nice. Was it your first time there?”

HE: “No, I actually go there quite often. I am a fan of English culture & etiquette.”

ME: “Understandably so… I would love to make a trip there sometime in the near future.”

Convo sounds kinda dry, right? Right.

But, TMI seemed to have some sort of Hugh Grant essence permeating thru his voice, which was kept our convo lasting longer than it probably should have…

TMI pauses our convo mid-subject and asks to give him a min.

“Sure!”, I respond.

A few moments later, TMI resumes our convo and asks –

HE: “I would really love to meet. Are you free Friday for dinner?”

ME: “Yes, that sounds lovely. Let’s get in touch later this week with details?”

HE: “Excellent. I will speak to you tomorrow.”

Then, juuust as he is about to hang up, I hear…

*FLUSH*

OMG. Seriously?

kissies,

p.s. – Sorry, but the visual forced me to cancel the date. XOXO