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Midtown Girl
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(FYI – more on
@aubree11 in a future post, as she has an exciting social app for singles coming out early January 2010 – yay for Aubree!!)Sounds really simple right? But I really don’t know what goes on in a guy’s head, so I figured ‘why not look up reasons as to why some guys cheat’.
You see, cheating was the main reason why my Ex-Ex & I broke up over 3 yrs ago & what would eventually lead to Midtown Girl. By the time Ex-Ex had cheated, our relationship had already become a pure shit-fest. We had no communication & the mutual disdain had the both of us avoiding each other at all cost. How lovely, right!!!
Moving on…I found this article: “9 Reasons Why Men Cheat” and thought I’d share it with you, my faithful dahlings:
Source: By The Lifescript Editorial Staff
Published October 04, 2009
Why They Say They Cheat-1. She ain’t what she used to be: Like Adam, the typical man can’t resist the temptation of riper fruit, especially if the woman in his life has let herself go. “If she got lazy or gained weight or just doesn’t take care of herself, a guy will start looking at other women,” Santagati says.
And men should do the same. He might be a complete slob and still be demanding perfection from her. “It’s the typical double standard.” (People should be fit to look good for themselves, never for someone else!)
2. No one loves a ball buster: Perhaps nothing will drive a married man into the arms of another woman faster than a nagging wife. “She’s like a mosquito,” Santagati says. “He doesn’t want to have sex with her; he wants to [swat her away].” The more viable option: hot sex with a more “understanding” woman. (Not sure if “ball busters” are necessarily not understanding, they’re just plain annoying. Annoying peeps suck – just GO.)
3. She just doesn’t “get” me: Men who cheat say they don’t feel understood by their mate. But it’s not always the woman. Mostly they’re either angry or afraid to connect. (Yea, I don’t “get” this one either…)
4. It’s the thrill: Most guys who have affairs are getting in touch with their inner caveman: They like to play with fire. By keeping surprise and sizzle in your sex life, a woman can keep the home fires burning so hot that her man won’t have any reason to cheat. Solomon says men also cheat because of fear, loneliness or anger. “The betraying partner’s failure to deal with these feelings is what causes him to be unfaithful,” he says. (So they are angry cavemen…whaaa?)
5. Blame it on the “hunter.”: Often, married men who cheat can’t quite explain their motivation. They just find themselves compelled to bust out of their day-to-day routine in search of something new. (Ever try Wii? Bowling & Tennis are my favs…try it fellas!)
6. Biology, baby: “It’s our biological nature to be with as many females as possible,” Santagati says. “Once we’ve seen a woman naked several times, it becomes commonplace. It doesn’t matter if you’re Jessica Alba or Sienna Miller, we become accustomed to your body and want to experience something different – different lips, different body types. We’re only monogamous because we realize that love and friendship are more important than getting laid.” (Doesn’t this cancel out #1?! I’m confused…)
But Juliet Williams, associate professor of women’s studies at UCLA disagrees. “No matter how stunningly high the number of male cheaters, we know it’s not biological,” she says. “There are still a higher percentage of men who are monogamous.” (Why thank you for clarifying, Juliet!)
7. It’s just sex: For most guys, sex and love are two entirely different things. “We really believe, ‘I can still love my wife and want to have sex with other women.’ We separate it in our brains,” Santagati says. (That’s kinda…sick.)
8. Not tonight, dear.: Let’s face it. Men want more sex than women. (Uhm.Says.WHO?)
9. Because we can: Ok, we’re guys, remember? It’s hard to resist temptation, especially when it’s at our fingertips. Thanks to the Internet, it’s easier for men to cheat anytime, anywhere… while they’re watching TV or on the laptop in bed next to their sleeping wives. (DAMN – this one is Effed Up X 100! And scary as hell.)
Oh.Hell.No. Your thoughts, lovelies?
kissies,
p.p.s. I love Twitter! Convo with me here: https://twitter.com/MidtownGirl
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my ex told me I was 90% perfect but he cheated for the 10%. what? %#@???
gezzz i hate it if a man cheat so i won't forgive him but i can understand most of the reason why they cheat so thats why i dont want to be in a relationship coz i know 99% men cheat,there is nothing i can do about so the only one is not to have a relationship
end of story
u know what i mean?hehe
i wonder if u can list reasons why women cheat??hehehhehe
Wow, you tackled a huge issue here!
First of all, true love is rare. The kind of love where you are so totally taken with someone that no one else will even warrant your attention.
Secondly, men, in general do not view sex as an act of sharing their hearts. Remember, men will pleasure themselves to just about anything!
The main thing, though, is that some people just have no will power. There will always be temptations in life and it is whether or not we can avoid those temptations that lead to long lasting relationships. New is fresh and interesting, but sometimes new is not better, it is just different.
In a nutshell, men are pigs who think with the wrong part of their bodies half of the time!
What a great and timely post. I'd say my first reaction if Mr. Peach Tart cheated is oh hell no get your sorry ass out of here.
Oh boy, why do PEOPLE cheat? It's not always black and white but may definitely be 1 of the above. I think that any action in general is motivated by some root cause – so what is the root cause?
I will never take a guy back once he cheats! One a cheater, always a cheater!
Wow… men are pigs? At least whoever wrote that article was a pig. Guys are biologically wired to be with as many females as possible??? Whatttttt?? Those 9 things don't sound like reasons why guys cheat…. they sound like excuses that guys make to themselves to justify their nastiness! Love is a choice… so if they choose to marry someone and LOVE them forever, then they should man up and do just that.
Agreed – Cheat on me once, shame on you… cheat on me twice, shame on me…. I'd never take him back!
Thanks for the awesome post!
A group of us had a big discussion about this in light of Tiger-gate and what I think is so interesting is how many guys said they "got" why he cheated even though he had a smokin' hot wife. Weird.
There's a lot in my life I'm not proud of, but I can at least say I've never cheated on a girl in my life. I was brought up to believe it was wrong. I do know, however, many of my friends (both male and female) who don't think twice about cheating. They do it all the time.
Theres no coming back from cheating at least not for me. The trust is gone and the intimacy we shared is ruined. Theres really no reason to keep a relationship going (from my point of view) after someone cheats.
MG, women cheat too. People forget that.
I've known men whose wives cheated on them when they were head-over-heels in love with them. He realized, cheating wasn't the cause of their relationship failing, it was a symptom.
I think cheaters are chicken. I think if they respected their mate, they'd talk through the issue or leave.
Men cheat because they can.
Women cheat because they can.
all of those excuses above are just that — excuses.
Either you want to cheat or you don't.
Cheaters can justify it to themselves that they have a right to cheat because they want to cheat.
But people do emotional cheating as well.
HO HO HO! Mrs Claus and I have never been tempted! We just celebrated our 500th anniversary! Merry Christmas!
I never cheaterd on my ex wife but yet, why do some women would cheat on the dude with HIS brother? Aren't there enough men (aside from family) in this world?
Ex wife doesn't know the answer to that yet. Figures
No way. I'd be done, done, done.
TOTAL deal breaker. I was cheated on by the ex. I never forgave him and EVERY time we fought that would usually come up. I just don't think it's something that you can get over. And who would cheat on you? D-BAG!!!!
lol ugh men who cheat just gotta go I'm sorry but it will always come up..
BTW one of the flyers of the events I told you about is up =)
Wow, Savvy Gal's dude deserves some kind of math award…
People cheat and at first it raises their self esteem, their egos rise very high. Later they may hate themselves. I think all people need some fantasy sex, and this can be had through masturbation. That is the safest form of "out of relationship" sex.
Secretia
According to the Boy, the only ones that even remotely make sense are 1 and 7….1 to him is completely understandable. 7 is ok, but if you love the girl is truly not worth it. 3 of his friends confirm that #1 is the only reason they'd cheat…
Honestly, we had a long convo about this post, so thank you MG for a deep topic that even he could participate in and actually add something useful hehee *smooches*